Stop Lying: You Love Donald Trump

Several months ago a friend emailed me a YouTube link without any warning. It was a Donald J. Trump for President rally held in some strange southern town.

Watching hecklers get drowned out by frenzied Trump supporters chanting, “USA! USA! USA!” or “TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!” and then hearing Trump shout: “We’re gonna build a giant wall on the border and Mexico is going to pay for it!” I felt appalled, even compelled to help stop the rise of what certainly was a budding orange-haired dictator.

Trump and supporters chanting “USA!” at rally.

But over the next few weeks, I kept watching rallies and reading news reports about his outrageous antics and really examined the core of what he was saying and I not only stopped hating Donald Trump, I realized that I loved him.

I think most of us secretly love The Donald even if some of it is only expressed as loving to hate him, which is still love. Loving Trump is kind of like realizing you’re gay or a transsexual to those of us who have been indoctrinated to feel shame. Tough to accept, even tougher to come out. Most of us will probably stay in the closet and vote for him with impish delight in the privacy of the voting booth — and that’s okay. All I ask is that you stop lying to yourself and stop the compensating sanctimonious outrage. The guy’s not effin’ Hitler.

Here are some of the reasons why we love Donald June Trump:

He’s engaging…

He says outrageous things (half of which I don’t believe he fully means) and a national dialogue boisterously erupts. Suddenly, we’re all immersed in a subject we probably didn’t think much about before.

Most of us have become apathetic to politics: sick of scripted politicians, empty promises and endless gridlock and now we have a shake-up that’s actually engaging us.

Trump’s charismatic and outrageously entertaining Twitter sound bite style fits Contemporary hyper-culture like a glove. If I listen to say, Ted Cruz, I become instantly bored and I only focus on how creepy he is (he must molest children, right?)

Trump dancing on Saturday Night Live

Trump is going to potentially unify…

Who knows what Trump is? He’s not a Democrat or Republican. None of us should be. We should really just be Americans and do away with the entrenched divisiveness of political parties.

As a person, he’s kind of a little bit of everything — like we all really are (minus the billionaire part.)

Also, notice how he’s not playing on polarizing wedge issues like gay marriage or abortion? Sure, it gets mentioned a bit, but instead he focuses on the bigger issues that affect us all: economy and security.


Trump doing some unifying

Wants to bring back manufacturing jobs…

Give people decent jobs and guess what? They tend to become happy. When people are happy, crime and drug abuse and other social problems shrink.

His persuasive personality…

Okay, so he’s not a conventionally articulate policy wonk. But he’s brimming with charisma and charisma is a powerful tool. Who do you think could better negotiate with world leaders and heads of corporations?

Bernie? Carson? Rubio? Hillary? Jeb!?

I say the sheer magnitude of Trump’s personality will make stuff happen and he’ll surround himself with policy nerds to work out the details.


Trade reform…

I don’t know anything about trade, but it does feel like America has gotten schlonged… and I like the idea of fixing it.

He’s going to build a big, beautiful wall… and make Mexico pay for it…

Many of us hate the idea of walls (although we like fenced yards), but screw it: let’s build a damn wall. A damn wall we can love and be proud of. A wall that makes the Great Wall of China look stupid and America look like the best. And I say, if Mexico’s paying, we go all out Trump-style: 100-stories tall with gold and pink marble accents. Maybe even build vacation condos and hotels atop the wall with grand views into impoverished Mexico and some golf courses along it and casinos inside.


He says he’s anti-war…

Who the hell is for war? Only people who don’t have to actually fight it, it seems.

Let’s sort out the ISIS bullshit and then hang it up.

He claims he’s going to build a powerful military. I don’t care if he does. No matter who’s in office (except Sanders), the military will be big.

He’s thrashed the media and professional politicians…

He’s exposed the media for what it largely is: corporate propagandists.

And politicians: corporate puppets.

Hasn’t it felt great watching him destroy Jeb Bush another other elitists? “Oh, you’re a tough guy, Jeb.”

Trump owns Jebra

He’s something entirely different…

If he wins, he’s going to be exciting to watch. It’ll be a bit of a walk into the unknown, but that’s good. I’d rather take a chance on Trump than do-nothing politics-as-usual. Sure, he could end up being terrible, but he could also end up being terrific.


I reached out to Trump supporters to get four reasons why they love Donald Trump.

Respondent #1

1. Because he’s really, really smart.

2. He doesn’t want his Oreos made and contaminated in dirty Mexico.

3. His mob-style New York accent.

4. He’s a 1%-er who hates 1%-ers.

Respondent #2:

1. He’s not a corporatist, he’s an entrepreneur. There’s a yuuuuggggeee difference.

2. My parents and I, for once, like the same presidential candidate.

3. His wife and daughter are mega hot. I’d rather get to see more of them than the First Man Bill Clinton if Hillary were to win. If you don’t agree, you’re a liar.

4. His favorite movie is allegedly “Pulp Fiction” which is also my favorite movie.


Trump with hot wife.

Respondent #3:

1. Wall Street is scared of The Donald. I read a report on CNNMoney that said most would rather have Clinton in the Oval Office as she wouldn’t try to reform them.

2. He’s not a loser.

3. He despises Super Pacs and private campaign financing. He could bring about a positive trend of honest politics and politicians.

4. He’s irreverent. When did that become such a bad thing?

Respondent #4:

1. Most avant-garde presidential candidate ever.

2. Opens the floodgates for future 3rd parties… splits the 2 party system as he’s not a dem and not true republican and he gets in it sets precedent for outsiders.

3.  Tromp opens the window for taking down numerous aspects of the political biz as usual system which progressives/radicals always ‘trump’ as a desired ‘thing’ .. with their constant Facebook meme postings ”we need to fuck the system up rah rah rah” .. Not a bigger gift could be dumped in their laps than Tromp who is screwing with the system already with many of the memes the progressives post i.e.–special interest money out of politics and politicians being bought and paid etc. He’s changed politics already not even being in office yet and while in he’ll fuck shit up for better and worse, but the window is now open for real ‘change’ to be realistically accomplished.

Otherwise, it’s Hillary who will maintain status quo, keep the money in and set the precedent for biz as usual for decades to come.

4. It’s who we deserve. You’ve all resorted to cheap and stupid social media memes as your chief source of entertainment as you endlessly scroll your feed and hit your like button for mediocre immediate pleasuring memes, gifs, and photos with one line inspirational quotes.

Fuck you for thinking you deserve better that Tromp. He’s the most relevant prez for our times and your behavior proves that a thousand times over, as every single day, numerous times a day, you are schlonging yourself with the cheap and easy – complaining that trump has an ego while you are constantly feeding your own ego with your likes and your petty complaints that for some reason you feel the need to promote to the world.

There you have it. Spread the love.


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