OAKLAND, California —
In Uganda, homophobia has been widespread since the prohibition of homosexuality in the 1950s. But it wasn’t until a year ago that president Yoweri Museveni signed a law that not only outlawed homosexual acts, but also compelled citizens to report suspected homosexual activity to the police, triggering increased levels of prejudice, violence and discrimination against the gay community.
Homosexuality in Uganda carries a minimum sentence of two years in prison and a maximum of life.
The murder and rape rate for LGBT people is 1000% higher than any other group in Uganda.
One anonymous homosexual group based in Oakland, California with affiliated groups in London, Berlin and several other major European cities is planning to fight back against the anti-homosexual African country in a very usual way.
We caught up with the group’s leader, who we found on a private Facebook group. We are calling him Walter to protect his identity.
CWN: First, thanks for agreeing to talk to us.
Walter: You got it, guy.
CWN: I’m not a scientist, but the science seems pretty sound that a person is born gay. So when I heard about your plan to turn Ugandan children gay, I thought, this must be a bad joke.
Walter: Look…. it’s true. You’re born gay. But you can also, if you do it right, turn children gay. Just like how the militant groups in the Republic of Congo and other crappy African countries turn normal children into violent child soldiers. It’s just conditioning and mind control. With work, you can mold a child into anything you want.
CWN: Can you tell us how you do it?
Walter: Look, I need to come clean. We’re not planning to turn kids gay in Uganda. We’re already turning kids in Uganda gay, operating in the country under the guise of Christian missionaries. Of course, I won’t give you the names of our fake missionaries, but we’re converting thousands of Ugandan kids to the homosexual lifestyle.
CWN: Okay, to answer my question. How are you doing it?
Walter: We gain their trust by giving them a lot of candy. Slowly, we begin to tell them that Jesus was actually a homosexual. At first, they reject this. But they’re young, impressionable. We get them to eventually believe it. Then we tell them they need to love others of the same sex like Jesus did. We get the kids to engage in homosexual behavior with each other. The children eventually think it is Biblically correct to be gay.
The newly-minted homosexual children then begin to turn other kids gay in their communities. We essentially make homosexuality go viral.
CWN: Some kids must reject it. Aren’t’ you afraid they’ll expose you? Uganda isn’t a place where you’d want to get caught doing this.
Walter: We threaten them with hell. If you tell on us, Jesus will have you killed and sent to hell. It does the trick. Ugandans are a very primitive, ignorant people. I’ve met rocks that are smarter than your average Ugandan.
CWN: It seems like there could be more humanitarian ways to fight anti-homosexuality in Uganda.
Walter: Look, guy. There are many groups doing that. Let them fight that fight. We’re, I guess you could say, militant homosexuals. Most homosexuals would not do this. But I want to fight fire with fire. They kill our people, we turn their kids gay.
CWN: How big is your group?
Walter: Giving you the exact number could give our missionary fronts away. Let’s just say we have hundreds of covert operators within Ugandan borders now. Our movement is growing as more homosexuals come on board.
CWN: Anything else you’d like to add?
Walter: Uganda, we’re coming for your children. Be afraid.
CWN: Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.
Walter: You got it, guy.
